the tech files....case 1324---"....and WHY is the printer wet?"

The Tech Files: Case 1324
"and WHY is the printer wet?"

Paper jam.

Simple enough call. I mean I deal with paper jams every day, or at least it seems like it. I go, retrieve the offending piece of paper, and viola, I'm a hero. Everyone is so grateful that I'm such a genius.

or at least that's how it was until I met up with Zen.

I head up to the 13th floor expecting it to be another 5 minute job. I mean really, how hard can it be to fetch a stray sheet of paper from the innards of an HP printer? Well, I was about to find out.

First thing I notice when I entered the room is that the lights were off. Zen was sitting there in the corner of her office with her head in her hands. "Okay." I thought, "a paper jam isn't THAT bad" hah! Once again I was wrong I have to remember that pretty much EVERYTHING is that bad.

I naively turn on the lights and stare in disbelief at the printer. I blinked a few times, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. I mean I SAW it, but I couldn't believe it.

The printer was sopping wet.

"Zen." I cautiously asked, "why is the printer wet."

"Because" she sort of sobbed.

"why because?"

"because I poured coffee on it."

"oh." I simply replied like it was an everyday occurrence. I mean I was trying to comfort her or something I guess I don't know. I mean inside I'm trying to rationalize this whole mess still "um can I ask WHY you poured coffee on it?"

<sniff> "To put out the fire" Of course seemed so simple why didn't I think of that.

I walked over to the printer and looked inside. I saw the charred remains of about 10 sheets of paper doused in coffee. Beside the printer was a Bic lighter.

"I've never known a paper jam to catch fire before." I said knowing the answer.

"Well," she sobbed, "I tried to get the paper out myself because I didn't want to bother you and when it wouldn't come out by pulling, I thought that maybe if I set it on fire, that it would come out easier, but see then the pencil caught fire or something I guess I don't know. Maybe it was just all the paper that was burning."

"uh huh" I poked at something that I figured must have been the pencil. I was trying to figure out in my mind how to go about cleaning this, and poked again at the soggy charred mess.

"you know what Zen I really don't think there's much I can do to this. I mean"

"well what can I do?! I need a printer!"

"look there isn't much I can do. I mean this printer is going to need totally taken apart and dried out cleaned we just can't do that."

"butbut" she pleaded. For once I was glad we didn't do heavy duty maintenance there.

"here's the number for the HP retailer in town here take it to them. They can help."

<sniff> "you sure?"

"is it under warranty still?"

"mmhmm"

"then they'll fix it. No matter what you do, they'll fix it or get you a new one."

"thank you how can I repay you?"

I pondered it for a minute. "Just keep your coffee away from the printer. Have a nice day."

She laughed slightly as I left.

I've since then learned not to underestimate a 'simple printer jam'