It's scary really. I was talking to my six-year-old cousin about what he got for Christmas. After I asked "So, what did Santa bring you?" he responded "Santa didn't bring me anything because my parents said he was fake". Now I was a bit disappointed to say the least, why would parents want to give up their only chance in their children's lives where they could tell them an outright lie and have them believe it for many years to come? Parents are not sticking with the myth of Santa Claus as well as they should, my assumption would be the myth isn't elaborate enough. So basically in order to preserve the myth of Santa Claus another story needs to be made, which I will get into a bit later. The parents are a big reason why kids don't believe in Santa as much, but the kids learning of Santa from people in school is an even bigger problem, so we need to make them believe as well.
Every year kids learn that Santa is fake earlier and earlier. As I said before my six-year-old cousin knows that Santa is a hoax, but I'll say the average age of a child finding out that Santa is their parents is 8 years old. That sounds way to young to me. The parents tell some kids about how Santa is fake and that spreads through to other kids due to school. So what can be done about it? Only a more elaborate lie to dupe the children will work. But would the Santa story need to be changed? Nope, in fact my idea is to have a buffer lie. What does that mean? Essentially the parents attack the idea of who Santa is, making the revelation that he does have a second identity of a person they know. So after they think they know who Santa is, the parents tell them that it is a certain person, after they figure that out they will be at least 16 years old, doubling the age of the living lie. But who would be the logical Santa profile for the Buffer lie? Well, It's kind of a lengthy explanation so it will be the next paragraph.
Now then my perfect story of who Santa is fits into logic so well that it is almost scary and I think parents should use this as the buffer lie. Now Santa according to the story lives at the North Pole and has elves make toys for him, but how does he pay the elves? Yes, in order to push anti-slavery laws Santa must pay his help, so logically Santa would have to have an off season job therefore a summer job. Now who could Santa effectively portray in a working environment? That's easy to solve if you think of corporate icons. Santa is a big, fat, red guy who enters houses in a strange way on Christmas and the icon I'm thinking about is a big, fat, red guy who enters houses in a strange way during the summer, that's right in the summertime Santa is in fact the Kool-Aid Man. Think about it, the Kool-Aid Man is a summer icon so Kool-Aid sales are very high in the summertime, but that's not near enough money to give toys to all the kids in the world. Santa is the Kool-Aid Man, but both are costumes, he must have another identity and product to sell, but who and what? How I figured it out was by the Kool-Aid Man's catch phrase of "OH YEEEEEA!" now what other person says that catch phrase all the time? None other then the Macho Man Randy Savage. Selling Slim Jims and wrestling more then pay for the price of all the presents; so who else could possibly fit the role of Santa better then the Macho man Randy Savage? That is my Buffer lie and it is the best Buffer lie. So please don't let Santa die, lie to your children more.