Actual comments from US travel agents......

I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get
messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over
all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California
and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to
explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she
interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown
is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one,
I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts,
Capetown is in Africa." Her response ... click.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was
wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view
room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the
middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and
Florida is a very thin state." OK,then.....

I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from
Canada?" I said, "No." He said, "But they look so close on the map."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I
pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay-over in Dallas.
When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was
a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her
flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried
to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not
understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went
very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on
your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do
you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put
a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any
connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into
it" ( I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for
Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on
her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane
to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, "I was
told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers
on them."

A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those
computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter
plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."

A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in
order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I
reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China
many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure
enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look,
I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my
American Express." If he'd been 4 times, you'd think he'd know already!

A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to
Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally,
the agent said,: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what
flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching,
the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport
code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere."
The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it
is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and
finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it
was a big animal."