ms. emily latella has a few things to say to us all...

 

purity: i've got over 600 hits! hot damn! how's that for a four month old site with minimal content and not much advertising! yeah!

[Ms. Emily Latella enters, furiously] What? Ms. Purity getting 600 hits? Dearie Me! What is this world coming too, who is the bastard responsible for hitting on that innocent sweet person? I'm just glad the poor thing survived. Why I recall once when I got hit, almost knocked me into next week! I mean, when I find the swine who dared to hit Ms. Purity...for shame, you should never hit anyone, esp. ladies...why I outtta...

[Dunestar] Internet hits.

[EL] (confused) What, Mr. Star?

[D] Purity has received 600 Internet hits.

[EL] Winterpet fits? (shocked) Why that's even worse! Why should Ms. Purity have to fit 600 Winterpets?

[Ryle] No, you idiot, not Winterpet fits, Internet hits, like receiving info on how many people have visited her website, and forums...

[EL] Borums?

[Dunestar] No, Forums like the one where in right now, Ms. Latella.

[EL] Oh (astonished) Internet hits...well, that's completely different...(innocently smiling) Never mind.

Dunestar tributes this sketch to Gilda Radner, who always brought happiness to our Satuday Nights.

just wait folks...she's not done yet....

Hey!! I'm Coyote. I'm kinda new here in the forums. But I thought I'd check it out since my pal, Ryle, is here. Although, I don't think it will score any points in me getting admitted in the FoE. Well...I'll be around.

Ms. Emily Latella enters frantically running about.

[EL] Flee! Everyone must protect their desserts from the pirate! Why I remember once when I had a dessert...Jell-O Pudding, I think...when out of nowhere this pirate came and snatched it, oh, it was terrible, I tell you! No dessert was safe from them, people losing their Hersey Bars, kids having their Wonka Candy taken without warning, not to mention the terror they caused at Wyatt's Cafeteria! I mean, pirates were running about stealing cakes, pies, parfaits, you name it, they took it! Of course, things changed around 1982, when....

[Ryle (restraining anger)] Desert..pirate...

[EL] (confused) What, Mr. Ryle?

[R] Coyote is a desert pirate, not a dessert pirate! Besides whoever heard of someone stealing desserts...(thinking) waitaminit...there was that time at the Beach when Dunestar.....oooooh!!!

[EL] Oh, desert pirate...that's completely different..(smiling innocently) Never...

Suddently Coyote barges in.

[Coyote] Hah! Thought you could elude me, eh, Ms. Latella! (holds his sword at her.)

[EL] (frightened) ooh, you scoundrel,
what do you want?

[Coyote] Yer Jell-O Butterscotch Pudding! Hand it over! (snatches the parfait glass from Ms. Latella)

[EL] Ahhh! Not my butterscotch pudding! (faints)

[Coyote] The pudding is mine! Now on to Luby's for even a bigger haul!

(Coyote leaves, Ryle is completely stunned.)

[R] Well, that was completely different...OW! OUCH! HEY!

(Ms. Latella recovers and is angrily hitting Ryle with her purse, chasing him)

[EL] Tell me my pudding was safe! That was my last butterscotch pudding, you guttersnipe! I'll show you!

They run past Purity and Dunestar

[p] Man, what's that all about?

[D] Dessert ethics, I suppose.

 

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